Marriages and relationships end, but that is never a justification for episodes of domestic violence. Everyone has the right to live without fear of abuse by their spouses or domestic partners.
As many people are aware, statistics show that the period right before, during and just after a domestic violence victim leaves their abuser is a time of heightened danger. Abused partners can also come up with a plethora of reasons not to leave their abusers. Below are some common examples victims give for staying.
Not all cultures view divorce neutrally
Some religions and cultures are more reluctant to condone divorce even when abuse occurs. Victims may feel that ostracism from friends and family is too much of a trade-off.
Staying together for the kids
This one is common even when the children are clearly miserable with the status quo and want anything but those arrangements.
They’re ill or elderly
Disabled and elderly individuals may have developed a learned helplessness over the years with their abuser and so don’t believe they could survive without them in their lives. They may also share an emotional codependency that’s hard to break.
These are just a few of the many reasons victims have given for remaining in abusive marriages and relationships that are long past their shelf lives. In fact, it can be quite challenging for people to get to the point where they walk out the door. In those cases, orders of protection can be helpful.
You don’t have to do it alone
Deciding to leave an abusive relationship is often more of a process than a single act. By preparing a safety plan to leave and having a support system in place, you can then make strategic decisions about ending your marriage.